When we become Kings and Queens !

When I walk on the streets, I am just some random guy, in my twenties, doing my final year, Electronics ‘ENGINEERING’ in some government college. So I fit the typical ‘Stereotyped’ NORMAL GUY. So when is it that Normal Guys like us become Kings ?

The answer to the question is simple. I just step inside a shop, be it any shop, I become a Customer (Actually bigger the shop, the better it gets ! )

And in the business world,

customking_logo

 

Now this post is not about some big experience. It is simple and sending a message.

So once you enter into a shop and remember, be it any shop, what happens is basically this.

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Okay now that is my rough illustration, so don’t kill me for my poor drawing skills. But this is what we are supposed to learn. When those people inside those shops view (or atleast SUPPOSED to view) the customer as King (Or Queen, there is no gender discrimination here please ! ), we should start seeing ourselves as one !

I have seen people enter big shops or showrooms and sometimes even when they don’t like anything, or don’t like the pricing, buy something and get out. Now I fail to understand whether this is because of some dignity issues or is it a duty to do something like that.

Cause Kings and Queens don’t just take things that they don’t like. They just storm out of the place. So the next time you find yourself in a shop with nothing that interests you, remember who you are inside the shop. Just walk out.

And the same goes to trying ‘N’ number of items. They have their items only for us to buy. And we have all the rights to try those. Some shops might have some rules like No Trial for White colored dresses or No Trial for Shirts. Those it is our duty as a customer to abide. But when there are no restrictions on trying out something, then nothing should stop us from doing so, especially ourselves.

Never hesitate to ask about anything, be it the pricing or the material or anything. Cause it is their duty to answer. If they dare show a face at you, just walk out. There is no need to put up with shit when we are Emperors and they are just selling their products to us. In the end it is us who fill their pockets !

So to Kings and Queens, the next time you are in a shop, do remember who you are !

Signing off,

‘The Normal Guy’.

 

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The Homemaker Argument !

Topping the Class, getting ‘S’ es in (almost) all subjects and being an Outstanding Student ! After 21 (on an average 21-24) years of solid academic excellence, if there is a statement being made that those Women are just gonna end up in the kitchen, as a housewives, doing nothing but cooking food and looking after children, well it sure as hell does lead to ‘One Fiery Argument’ !

And it leads to accusations of being a ‘Hypocrite’ when a person like myself, after mentioning ‘Women Equality’ (Note clearly, it is Equality and respecting their ‘Equality’, not respecting the women themselves as something ‘more than equals’!) in almost every single forum available, making such a statement that doesn’t vary much from the stereotyping about them. So Why the Stereotype ?

Why the Stereotype ? Default answer that women revert to or rather ‘prefer’ is Male Chauvinism or MCP (Male Chauvinistic Perception). Well let me give ‘Women’ their artillery. There are Women in (almost) every single field once dominated by Man [Almost only included to account for the uncertainty always present when universalizing a statement]. We see well educated women, who are supervising men in their respective fields. More like leaders than being just players. So I don’t and won’t deny the (increasing) female proportion in workforce. But if people observe closely, be it Cinema or Information Technology, there has always been a gap that women take from their working period. That gap called the Marriage or more specifically, post marriage, called the ‘Maternity Leave’. And NO ! I am not AGAINST that. Cause then it would be the end of Human Civilization. It is the time at which they take this leave, that should be observed / discussed / thought about. If they were marrying at 29 and taking maternity leave at 30, well fine, after education and work at one of the peak productivity periods between 20 to 30, they have worked for the first 8-9 years. But is that the scenario in India at least ? Nope. Here, thanks to some existing ‘Social Pressure’ and ‘Tradition’ (which are basically EXCUSES), they marry a girl as soon as possible (ASAP) after her education and her landing in a job. So end result, marriage at 24. Baby at 25. Grounded at home for 2-3 more years. Housewife at 28 or 29 ! So who is the reason behind the ‘Homemaker’ Stereotype (Homemaker is the term given to Housewives nowadays!) ?

It is not us men (and here by men, I am referring to anyone in my generation and afterwards) who stereotype you. It is lets say ‘Fate’ that you end up in those position, and we just can’t help expressing our inability to match up to you in performance by stating your end position after all this ‘Academic ROCKING’. It is your parents (not just yours, but collectively) under all the pressures of the ‘CURRENT’ society, who nowadays think of daughters as ‘Inventory’. And that by the age of 24, the Inventory has to be put in Manufacturing. Seriously ? Why don’t you for once give them the freedom to choose what they want ? Live as they want ? Why should you bother if they don’t marry at all ? It would probably be a full stop in ‘Your’ family tree. Not to the human species ! And in fact similar pressure applies to men too. There is a proposed Expiry date for us too ! If given the freedom, all men would happily marry as late as possible. To put in plain words, all Men would want Sex ASAP. But not Marriage !

I have seen my fellow classmates of the opposite sex accept with resignation that their home situations would never allow them to pursue their dreams, irrespective of whatever amount of convincing they attempt back home. I really feel sorry for them and also angry at the society and their parents for spoiling their dreams. All that their parents see is waste of life as an unmarried woman. All that I can see in them is Waste of Potential ! As parents it is their duty only to make aware the fears of the outside world, not make them fear the world inside more ! Unfortunate it is that is not the case ! So what if they want to cross seas ? Give them the courage and the skills to survive elsewhere. That would be Good parenting. Anything else should only make the elder generation feel guilty !

One another thing I have noticed is that, all those examples of highly successful women, at least in the Indian context, Indra Nooyi, Latika Charan or Kiran Bedi, all have such stern faces and short cropped hair. Is it co-incidence or is it a display of a ‘Tomboy’ish attitude that enables them to hold their ground in their respective men dominated fields.  This is just a personal observation, and cannot be generalized as a fact. But this could be given some thought.

So Women, please don’t mention MCP again. I have to go on and coin a term called FCP (Female Chauvinistic Perception) then ! And for FCP, we can make any opinion or point of yours proof. For every activity of yours, there is quite a lot we can talk/debate about. Most of us don’t do, in the name of ‘good manners’ or ‘being a Gentleman’. Truth is they don’t do it to screw up the possibility of talking to the opposite sex. A significant minority (inclusive of myself), do it, and meet the consequences, which is either unpopularity or notoriety. But that is for another article now !

I wish all this would change, along with you women. And in fact it would, slowly, with a generation of people believing in late marriages slowly coming up replacing the current generation which are tied by Social and Peer pressures and are still say locked to the Tradition. And again I am not against ‘ALL’ culture and tradition, since most of them have a lot of science behind them. It is those which some people falsely assume(d) and then propagate(d), those traditions that I am against.

So till then, either try breaking the stereotype (risking the possibility of being called ‘many things’) or please don’t complain and bring one another ‘Homemaker Argument’ !

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Sixty Seconds of Pure Pain.

Sixty Seconds of Pure Pain ! That’s all I felt after spraining my ankle at the football ground (Not that I play football, but that is irrelevant now !). It was the train of thoughts that I had later, after regaining consciousness and after my brain’s rational thinking was restored, that prompted to me to write this.
 
I am not an atheist, At least not one for the moment. Yet at the same time, I am not the type who believes in a superior intelligence’s involvement in our day to day life, in every single activity of ours. I believe whatever happens to us, Good or Bad, we take credit for it and we are fully accountable to whatever happens to us.
 
I am sure you are thinking about the absence of any connection between the first and second paragraphs or about the purpose behind this piece of writing. As I said earlier it was about the thoughts I had after injuring myself that made me write this one. So what was it that I later thought about ?
 
My first clear thought after my mind cleared was “Whether this was a ‘Divine Intervention’?” ! And no I am not kidding. I was as shocked/surprised as you might be and also feeling a bit ashamed for even thinking of something like that after being trained for years in rational reasoning. I thought whether it was God who was ‘PUNISHING’ me for something that I had done earlier (oh just so that you can relax I didn’t steal, murder or rape anyone!).
 
This is what is happening today everywhere, where years of spoon feeding of religion and beliefs about God, through stories, songs and movies, simply destroys any scope for reason even in the most rational minds (no I am not referring to myself. I have a long way to go to reach that spot!). My parents are both devout believers in God. My Mom in fact ascribes any event/happening to God, despite that fact that she holds a Master’s degree in Chemistry. No not that education is anyway a measure of belief in God (though research shows they are inversely proportional!), but anyone with that level of education should know that the strength of the coconut coir is because of ‘Natural Selection’ and not ‘Intelligent Creation’ (Yeah I was a student of Biology in 12th Grade, and Natural selection can be a topic of discussion for another time. )
 
“That which is impenetrable to us really exists. Behind the secrets of nature remains something subtle, intangible, and inexplicable. Veneration for this force beyond anything that we can comprehend is my religion.” – Albert Einstein.
 
Well that is not the only thing that Einstein remarked about Religion or God. But I find this pretty much my case. A case where I am in constant questioning of something which people blindly accept and follow in the name of ‘Faith’. And that living in a world where having ‘Faith’ in Living, Existing (proven!) Humans is not possible. But having ‘Faith’ in something/someone who’s existence is yet to be proven and a topic of worldwide debate is normal ! 
 
I still can’t help remarking ‘Oh my God’ and then feel odd because uttering a word without any sincerity or feeling or in fact uttering a word even without believing in ‘His’ existence feels odd. I could refer to myself as a Pantheist (pan·the·ism -a doctrine that equates God with the forces and laws of the universe) but then again , a person who has studied science and reasoning, that very rationale prohibits me from doing so. Maybe it must be this way. 
 
And go on to question people about their beliefs (often it would be their Core belief), they either evade the question or shut up themselves. I simply have to stare with wide-eyed wonder (for the literary sexy, but mostly with DISBELIEF!) as to how people learn anything at all ? When the primary form of learning happens by ‘Accept Nothing. Question Everything.’ approach !
 
So signing off on a similar insincere confused note. ‘God Save Me, God Save the World’ !
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A Message to the Grown Ups.

“You speak of Generation Gap. I say , Yes we are a new Generation. Different from you. But I would like to correct you by telling you that we haven’t forgotten all that you have taught us. The Culture and Tradition. We remember , maybe even without our consciousness, all that you have told and display it on occasions, not so different from you.”

The above is not a quote by some famous person. It is just what I could think of , when I began writing this post. That is my message to present Parent generation. Maybe the elderly, say anyone has hit the age of 60 or 70 plus, wouldn’t have the mind set to digest even half of what I am about to say. And I write with the hope that I could at least make the present Parent generation understand.

Yes, it is about Relationships. Say it is the current “Trend” or “Fashion”.  Nowadays it has become more of a crime to be single. Not that all teens and the twenty something youth out there are couples. Still the “singles” population is the largest. Just that the percentage of couples has increased “significantly”.

Oh and don’t go blaming that we have started adopting the Western culture and are influenced by Western civilisation. I can point out a hundred plus points in a relationship before you point out one minus. And again I would like to go back to the starting paragraph of the post. What you taught us, we haven’t forgotten. The present Trend or Fashion is more of an Indian version or adapted version of the Western culture. But not entirely. Only a part of it.

First before I go in depth into analysing a lot. Let me ask you all (not just the parents) something. Why do you think a guy spending time with a girl alone is wrong ?

And now coming to the parents. You think once you discover that your son or daughter has got into a relationship , you are the ONLY people who are criticizing them ? The reason why I said we haven’t forgotten what you taught us and in fact display it even without our consciousness is because of this.

Haven’t we all teased some girl who roams with say a different guy every day ?  We start calling her names. My question to you, What do you know about the girl before you start assuming things about her.

Next a guy is spending a lot of time with say a girl who is really comfortable with. But only as a friend. All of us have been in that position , maybe in a group, when you start rumours about them being a couple. Why ? Do you think that just friendship is not possible between a guy and a girl ?

And now I get a hundred answers like arrows coming at me. “YES. I TOTALLY ACCEPT THAT A GUY AND A GIRL CAN BE FRIENDS”. This is only when you target each person individually. When in a group, Mob Psychology takes over. You lose that individuality of yours and start saying stuff about them. Why ? Because that is Us displaying the Culture and Tradition taught to us, Us with our brains hardwired to tell that a guy and a girl spending time alone, or a girl roaming with different guys , is WRONG. Individually we all accept it is right. But in a group, you go back to what has been the practice for generations. You become no different from your parents when they start lecturing you about going out with a girl/guy in your class.

Me being a guy and some of my earlier posts, many people mistake me to be a male chauvinist or anti feminist. For your kind information I am not. I think from all perspectives and perfectly know how it is for a girl to be called things when truth is something else.

I think that deals with people from our own generation or age group (inclusive of me, though I always could tell exactly when I was losing my individuality in a Mob). Now it is time to deal with the grown ups.

Let me explain in detail as to how you have been hardwired to think of a guy-girl friendship is wrong and how a guy-girl relationship is wrong.

There is quite a lot of difference between the two, Relationship and Friendship. Though you accuse us of using the latter with a vague boundary as an excuse for the former (if that confused you, it is about how you accuse us of using Friendship as an excuse or cover up for a relationship).

Now before I go Against you, let me give you your side arguments.

One, There are FOOLS who believe that the first girl they met or the first girl they enter in a relationship with is their life partner or in other words TRUE LOVE.

Two, There are cases of Relationships turning into a more serious and intimate Physical interaction. This you blame to be the influence of western civilization. Let me make it crystal clear to you. Even there no girl wants to lose her virginity just like that. And also let me make another thing clear to you. You are speaking from a country that had child marriages up until just decades ago.

Three, There are cases of Friendship turning into a relationship. But that is just because they felt a greater degree of intimacy.

Four, this is more of a complaint of yours. It has become a Fashion to be roaming as couples. Now I blame YOU if this happens. If you had instilled all moral values that you now say your child is going against, he/she would have had a more CONTROLLED EXPOSURE to the continuously evolving outside world where new fashions evolve and dissolve. They would distinguish between what happens because of influence of another person/group and what happens because of one’s own feelings.

The last is my case. I thank my Parents , for they had helped me in Controlled Exposure. It was to say a Conservative bringing up at home and a Radical Environment outside. That is when you can truly adapt.

Nowadays it has become more of a fashion among PARENTS to be open and discuss everything with their children. Let me tell you something. Give them some space to have something private. By encouraging them to share everything with you , you also encourage them to enter into foolishness and then they do it say LEGALLY with your permission. Rather if they learn by experiment, with constant pressure from you against something, they would naturally learn the Right and Wrong. Unfortunately that has become non-existent now. You don’t even give your children the THRILL of doing something without your knowledge.

Another question I have is, just because you were married in the so called ARRANGED MARRIAGES, why do you think Love Marriages would fail ? (Though I am basically against the term Love being used here, I think they should be called rightly as Relationship Marriages!). They fail if you don’t support them or act as if you have nothing to do with it.

I am writing this whole article. I understand all this. Now if I fall in a relationship with someone (Probability of someone falling in a relationship with me is 0.01 percent !), I wouldn’t simply think of marriage immediately. I have the rationality to think first of my future, me getting settled well, the other person getting settled well, and then starting a life. Infact I wouldn’t think of marriage till I have reached an age of 29 or 30. Why don’t you also take such positive examples from the western culture. There are marriages at ages of 35 over there too. When both the bride and the bridegroom are well settled and financially stable. Rather here as soon as the girl finishes her engineering (undergraduate level, not even PG), you want to get her married. There are so many young couples now. I have seen Women with babies before the age of 27. And with babies come responsibility so which means a perfectly capable, working woman at her peak performance , is GROUNDED at home with a baby to take care of. And this applies to both the FOOLISH LOVE MARRIAGES that you want to finish hastily before things take a turn for the worse, and for the ARRANGED MARRIAGES that you do today. Now is that thinking of yours RIGHT ?

The above was more related to the Working Population. Let us enter College life. Obviously with the new found freedom of college life, and with more interaction with the opposite sex, they are bound to enter relationships. Whether they know it or not, you as parents should know, they are pretty unstable and soon-to-end relationships. It would help a lot if you only interfere when you observe any loss of rationality in the couple. Otherwise it is perfectly fine as long as their grades or performances don’t dip. But you want to show your authority by going against it from the start, saying its wrong. I wont allow you to get into a relationship and all. First put yourself in your son/daughter’s shoes. Think whether he/she has been brought up by you as a perfectly logical thinker. Whether he/she can differentiate between right or wrong perfectly and can handle his or her own life. Then you can sit and relax and just observe what is going on.

And don’t go on about how you would have to explain if some other person of your family sees your son/daughter roaming with another girl/guy (in that order) somewhere. Remember, they have their kids too. They encounter same/similar situations back home. So they too share your position.

Now to the ones of our own set . Guys and gals, why don’t you change your age old thinking . Because whenever a friend of mine enters into a relationship he/she  says it could get serious and go on for a long time. Why don’t you change that thinking of yours for a second, and think right at the start of your relationship, “What will happen when this relationship fails/ends?”.  If you can do that. If you can live with that truth that this might not be your first or atleast your last one, then you will immediately sense  yourself becoming more aware of everything that happens in your relationship. The midnight phone calls, extended chats, restaurant bills everything seems REAL to you. You take responsibility and you start thinking properly in terms of income and expenses. Only that here income is your Pocket money. Atleast in the west they earn their own money.  Always entertain the possibility of the end , when you begin, so that when it ends, you don’t end up in an emotional mess.

Also to the parents, the current generation takes responsibility at a younger age than yourself. They handle their expenses a lot before you did. You had culturals in you college. They have it in their school. They are exposed to a lot more than what you were , and at a younger age. If you accept all that, then you should also accept that their mindsets are configured to enter into conversation with the opposite sex a lot sooner. Maybe you can delay the intercourse. But you cant do anything about the interaction ! And that is how frank I can be.

It is so simple. Why don’t you for once change your thinking and put yourself in their shoes and then see ?

And same goes to people of my own group. Why do you for once fill yourself in your parents shoes and reason our with them ? Also why don’t you stop that Mob mentality and think about the other person before you go on hurting them ?

I think I have conveyed what I wanted to within the usual page limit. Anything more would have been an overdose to the reader. If there is more to be added I would do so in a Part 2 .

 

 

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Paradox Opus !

This is probably the one big paradox we all talk about everyday. Just that we don’t realise talking about it.

The Paradox of “Ideal Reality”.

Oh there is another name for it. A more common one. “Philosophy”.

No. Philosophy isn’t itself Paradoxical. It’s the confusion it creates between Ideal and Real World that gives rise to one of the greatest Paradoxes I have observed and am Observing in the everyday world.

How ? Well I will explain it in detail with examples. In between you may face some “Brain Twisters” (Oh they are not your regular tongue twisters , since you can properly read them just that you will lose track of the logic midway) .

Philosophy tries to describe Reality. But what Philosophy actually does is it gives the picture of an Ideal World. Cause whatever it says doesn’t apply in Real World. Thereby creating the divide between Ideality (Dictionary might show error but Google Search returns results for the word !) and Reality. But

Philosophy is the study of general and fundamental problems, such as those connected with realityexistenceknowledgevaluesreasonmind, and language.”

(Thanks again to Wikipedia !).

I do a Somersault when I read that(oh just in the Ideal World people. Reality never will permit to do one considering Physical Constraints !) . Philosophy and Reality ? When the hell were they two connected ?

Okay now I cant explain this to you without using an example. Cause it is like Einstein trying to teach Relativity to the Layman (the only way to do is to state the “Hot-Stove-and-Hot-Girl-Example” !). I will take a pretty simpler route.

How Philosophy treats Friendship ?

நகுதற்  பொருட்டன்று நட்டல் மிகுதிக்கண்
மேற்சென்று  இடித்தற் பொருட்டு.

The above ‘Kural’ was written by Thiruvalluvar, a celebrated poet and philosopher in Tamil Nadu (For more details http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thiruvalluvar).

That apart what it means is that  “You shouldn’t make friends just so as to have fun and laugh together; But also to be stern and correct your friend when he/she strays out of path and gets into bad habits.”.

Now that’s a Taste of Philosophy. Want a taste of Reality ? Try telling a Friend of yours to stop Smoking or Stop consuming Alcohol , just because it is bad for their health. They say firmly they won’t. And further you get an overdose of Philosophy that just because they Drink or Smoke, they are not bad people. True ! You are not bad people just because you do those. But isn’t that simply bad for your health ? Then why continue doing those IDIOTS (Oh I restrain myself from using better words here just to save it from “Parental Advisory”) . Further more if you are REAL STERN (Like what Thiruvalluvar said) , you get kicked out and they say its better you are not my friend (oh this is the worst case when simple matters like Alcohol are concerned!).

Another example, trying telling a friend (preferably an emotional female) who is in relationship with a Possessive Guy who hardly allows her to be outside her home with someone else (even if that someone else is a Girl !) and that her parents are against the relationship. When you tell them it wont work out and you are wasting your energy, resources and time , you are straight away dropped from her Friends Circle.

Which means Philosophy simply LOST track of Reality Ages Ago !!

( Note:  I deeply respect Valluvar. His writing (a total of 1330 verses) still holds true and covers all areas of life. One who lives by his writing will (FIRST BE SOCIALLY DEAD !) surely be one of the Greatest people in this World without doubt. Just that following all his writing involves becoming extremely good. And

“An Overflow of Good Converts to Bad” – Shakespeare.

Also I am better off without such friends who don’t respect what I say because they don’t want the good but want to enjoy with me in lighter moments. Its better to stay away from them since they will anyway not be there during your hard times since they find the difficult stuff bitter. )

Another classic example would be my earlier discussed Good-Bad Paradox. You can never define anything to be Good or Bad PHILOSOPHICALLY. And using a different branch of the same PHILOSOPHY you CAN differentiate between GOOD and BAD. A Paradox. Its because of the divide between the ACTUAL REALITY and the IDEAL REALITY (an Oxymoron !).

Take Honesty for example.

“Honesty is a very expensive gift, Don’t expect it from cheap people”

–          Warren Buffet.

This statement is one I could say that gives a Taste of Reality. But people should see the ACTUAL PICTURE. Where did Warren Buffet use this ? He used in reference to the Stock Market ! And people use it in day to day life !!. This is where the REALITY is LOST and used in a PHILOSOPHICAL SENSE !. Thankfully the statement itself does apply to reality so fortunately it doesn’t affect a lot !

Plus now I will debate why you shouldn’t  expect Honesty from anyone.  Or why it is not anyone’s duty to be Honest.

REALITY CHECK ! Be Honest Everywhere. You cant make a penny in the real world ! Cause you have to keep something secret. When asked about them you should know how to Lie , to Cover things up and to Pretend. All the three things listed above simply knock Honesty off the table !

What happens when you use the quote in a Philosophical Sense ? People who are honest consider themselves EXPENSIVE !  In reality they don’t make a lot of money or any company !

(Note: I am a very honest person. But being honest comes with experience and a price to pay. The experience because you should know how to be honest and yet not disclose anything about yourself. The price to pay being the SOCIALLY DEAD part !.)

I can similarly justify one person betraying another by listing the situation under which one betrayed the other. Thereby making the traitor look like a SAINT. That makes anybody even Judas look good ! (Oh he really was I suppose !) .

This is how I came to lose track of the DIFFERENCE between Reality and Ideality !

That’s why I say its probably the Magnum Opus of all Paradoxes !

Paradox Opus !

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